How Doing the Flying Trapeze Helped Me Move Out of My Comfort Zone

Are you holed up safely in your comfort zone at the moment? Perhaps you have been in a job role for years passing up the chance of promotion in case you don't get it (or worse that you do and you have to do a different job with a whole new set of responsibilities). Or perhaps you've recently moved to Bristol but are too scared to go out and meet people. Maybe you've holidayed in England for the last decade because catching a plane abroad feels daunting. We have all been guilty of sticking within our comfort zones in various aspects of our lives.

A comfort zone is defined as a situation where we feel safe or at ease. It is often a situation that we are very familiar with, that we've done many times before, hence it requires little effort.

So what happens when we go outside of our comfort zone? We face the unknown, we feel vulnerable and unsure, and as you'd expect, uncomfortable. You can see why we would want to remain in our comfort zones then can't you?

And when we feel stressed and anxious, our desire to remain within it is even more heightened.

A comfort zone is a very subjective thing. What feels comfortable to me may feel like your worst nightmare, and vice versa. Comfort zones are not static. They change over time as we develop as a person. It is good to know that we can expand our comfort zone, that it is changeable. But it only gets bigger if we push its boundaries.

This year, I set myself some goals both personally and for my hypnotherapy business. I knew these goals would mean that I would have to do things that would be outside of my comfort zone. I would be challenged by these goals, possibly feel vulnerable, nervous, and even a little anxious too (I'm only human!).

A few years back I went to see Invisible Circus put on a performance in an old warehouse in Bristol. There were lots of different circus acts performing amazing feats. One of the acts was a woman doing the flying trapeze. Just watching her do that made my stomach roll and my heart race. I said to my friend who was with me, how scary it must be up there that high, swinging about. I also added how awesome it would be too to be able to it - that if you could face that level of fear, you could do anything. I forgot all about it after that fabulous night. Until...

Back in January an ad popped up in my Facebook feed (FB does have its uses) for a flying trapeze experience at Circomedia. So after much deliberation, I booked myself on to it.

I arrived at the venue (which is an 18th century church) ready and raring to go.

I admit that I was more than a little bit nervous. Perhaps I shouldn’t have watched Victor Frankenstein a few nights before which had a trapeze artist fall to the ground in a broken mess.

I didn’t really know what to expect so when we were taken through a warm up routine I started to wonder what I’d let myself in for. The instructors talked us through the safety aspects and the calls they would use so we would know what to do and when. Then it was time to get in to the harness and scale the ladder. I have to say, that this was the worst bit - climbing the ladder and then transferring from the ladder on to the platform which was less than a foot wide. My heart was going ten to the dozen. Standing on that platform, holding on to the trapeze bar with one hand, leaning forward held in place by my harness as I prepare to jump off the platform and catch the bar with my other hand was a very scary prospect. But I did it and I made my first swing. When I dropped to the net below and unhooked myself from the support wires, my legs were like jelly. The adrenaline was properly flowing now and I was more than a little giggly from the experience. I was ecstatic.

“She flies through the air with the greatest of ease, the daring your woman on the flying trapeze”

Next came a little training on the static trapeze, learning how to hook my legs up on to the bar, let go with my hands and hang upside down, then return to a normal swing with hands on the bar and legs hanging down.

And then I was ready to do it up in the air. Whilst it was more complicated what with having to follow instructions and get the timings right, I found it less scary than that first simple swing because my mind was occupied on exactly what I was doing. Then we took things up a notch again by introducing a back flip dismount. The first one I did, I landed face down on the net but I managed to do it the next couple of times I did it. And here's video proof of me doing the flying trapeze.



It was a proud moment and I was so chuffed with myself. It was an amazing experience and I loved every minute of it. It wasn't easy and it was scary but I did it.

I came away from that experience thinking “If I can do that, I can do anything”. I remind myself of this now when I have to do something out of my comfort zone. And it really helps me. Like with the flying trapeze, when I’m working on my goals, I'm following a process, my own or other's instructions, and keeping focused on what it is I am doing and the desired end result. I know I'm supported and that I'm safe. After all, what's the worst that could happen?

It is all too easy to stay within our comfort zones under the pretence that it’s comfortable there. But is it really? I don’t think so. Stepping out of our comfort zone isn’t actually any more uncomfortable than staying in it. It’s just a different kind of discomfort. If we take the example of someone not wanting to go out to meet new people. Stepping out of their comfort zone might mean the possibility of rejection, embarrassment, vulnerability, shyness, etc. Whereas staying in their comfort zone means they potentially remain unhappy, lonely, bored, dissatisfied etc. Both bring negative emotions that make them feel uncomfortable. But I know which is the better option, step outside! Step outside your comfort zone. Push those boundaries.

Pushing yourself to better yourself, achieve goals, and face fears may momentarily cause discomfort but it brings long term comfort as you move closer to achieving what you want. It opens up a world of possibilities. It is where change happens. So get comfortable with being uncomfortable!

10 Ways to Prepare a Positive Mindset for Flying

It’s starting to feel like summer now and we’re heading in to that time of year when people start to think about their upcoming holidays that they booked in the depths of winter. We seek sun (although as I type this it’s pretty hot and sunny here), adventure and time away from the stresses and strains of every day life.

Typically, once the holiday is booked, most people count down the days, so excited about their upcoming holiday but for others the time between booking that ticket and getting on the plane can be fraught with anxiety, negative thoughts and fear. And for some people just the thought of getting on a plane stops them from booking a holiday in the first place. Is this you?

Fears and phobias of flying are very common and can really take the enjoyment out of holidays. Flying phobias effect people in a number of ways and can range in severity from slight feelings of anxiety and discomfort to a full on panic attack and losing control of the situation. Some people decide not to holiday abroad in order to avoid flying and the anxiety and fear that accompanies it but this only reinforces the problem.

Here are 10 top tips to help you to prepare the right mindset for flying so that you can have a better experience of it:

1. Imaginal exposure. Spend some time imagining taking the flight. Not all the worse case scenarios nor your perfect flight but a more realistic representation of what happens. Imagine it as if you are actually there. It’s important that you are nicely relaxed while you do this. Notice the discomfort that you’re experiencing as you imagine it, how it plateaus and then starts to diminish the more you imagine the scenario.
2. Focus on how you would like things to be. Typically when we are fearful of something, we tend to worry about every possible thing that could go wrong. I am certain that when you think about flying, you are thinking about the worse case scenarios. When we think in this way, we create unnecessary stress for ourselves and the anxiety builds which makes us think more negatively. We get trapped in a cycle of negative thinking. So be aware of the thoughts that you are having. Start thinking about how you would to think, feel and be in the lead up to and during the flight.
3. Share concerns with others. Discuss your fear with your friends and family, especially those you are travelling with. Quite often, people keep their fears to themselves but this can make things a lot worse especially as you can start to worry about how you might appear to everyone around you and being “found out”. When people around you are aware of how you feel, they can support you through it.
4. Looking forward. When you’re scared of flying, everything becomes about the flight. More often than not, the place you are visiting, the things you’re going to do, and all the fun that can ensue, is put aside. Readdress this balance by spending time thinking about where you’re staying, what you are looking forward to seeing and doing, the food and drink you want to sample, discovering things about a place you’ve never been before and learning about the culture.
5. Be prepared. Do everything you can to minimise stress on the day of your flight. Ensure that you have packed your bags and have everything you need ready at least the day before you are due to travel. Have a relaxing bath and do other things to help you relax before getting a good night’s sleep. If you have time in the morning, have breakfast. Leave plenty of time to get to the airport so you don’t have to rush or worry about whether you’ll miss your flight or not. These are all simple things to support you physically and mentally, helping to take the load off for when you travel.
6. Avoid alcohol and caffeine. Some people have a few drinks before or during a flight to give them a bit of Dutch courage, to help them through. This is a bad idea. Alcohol is a depressant and can lower your mood, make you more anxious, and reduce your ability to control your thoughts and feelings. Caffeine can make you feel jittery and more anxious so it’s best to avoid it before and during your flights.
7. Occupy your mind. Some people are inclined to just sit and not do anything as they feel that they need to focus all their attention on not falling to pieces. Unfortunately this tends to have the opposite effect than intended. My advice is to do things to occupy your mind in order to reduce the introspection and rumination about the flight. So when you are waiting for your flight at the airport, browse the shops and duty free, go have something to eat or drink, and spend time chatting to the people you are travelling with (or anyone that will listen if you’re travelling alone). Make sure you take a book, magazine, phone and/or tablet with you so that you can entertain yourself during the flight. If you are going on a long haul flight then you will have the inflight entertainment as an option so spend some time browsing what’s on offer. If you have a relaxation audiotrack, make sure you have it loaded on your phone along with earphones so that you can listen to it.
8. Be present. When we are worried about things, we can lose ourselves in our thoughts and all manner of crazy things can come up. By shifting your focus outwards, to your environment, you start to focus on what is actually happening rather than what you think is happening. Focus on your senses, what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell. Focus on things that are positive and neutral though.
9. Relax. Spend some time tuning in to your body and releasing any tension that you might have. A favourite technique of mine is tensing the muscles in your feet then relaxing them off, and systematically working your way up through the rest of the body. By tensing the muscles first, it makes it easier to relax the muscles afterwards.
10. Breathe. Breathing techniques help to trigger the relaxation response. Even if your breathing is fine, they are excellent, simple tools that you can use to help you feel more in control. 7/11 breathing is a popular one, whereby you breath in to the count of 7 and out for the count of 11 but there are others too which you might find more suited to you.

These top tips can help you feel more prepared and in control when you fly. Hypnotherapy is also very effective at helping you to change how you think and feel about flying. When I work with flying phobia clients, we delve deeper in to the tips I’ve given above and explore other avenues too. I help you to identify negative thinking errors about the flight, and teach you how to dispute the thoughts and beliefs that you hold about flying and reconstruct them in to something more positive that brings down your anxiety and fear. Imaginal exposure and desensitisation forms a huge part of the work I do with clients. These techniques have been used in clinical practice for over 50 years to help people overcome anxiety and fear and have an incredible evidence base supporting them. I will also teach you methods of relaxing as well as how to control your feelings helping you to reduce those physical feelings typically associated with anxiety and stress such as heart palpitations, rapid breathing, and sweating, among others. Flying phobias vary massively from person to person so I tailor my sessions specifically to you.

Hypnotherapy gives you the necessary tools for you to be able to board that plane, take off, be at altitude, experience turbulence and land in a calmer way where you are in control of how you think, feel and behave. I'm not saying that you will go from having an intense fear of flying to absolutely loving it but hypnotherapy can help you to cope with it effectively so that you can enjoy your holiday more thoroughly.

If you would like to find out more about how hypnotherapy can help a flying phobia, check out my phobias page on my website.

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Overcome Your Fear of Needles on World Blood Donor Day

World Blood Donor Day is being marked today, 14th June 2012. The theme of this year’s campaign, “Every blood donor is a hero” focuses on the idea that every one of us can become a hero by giving blood.

Unfortunately, fear can stop us being the hero that we want to be. Phobia of needles, blood and all things medical is more common than you think and these phobias can have a big impact on our lives.

Now I know giving blood is voluntary so for those with a fear of needles, they simply avoid the process. However at some point in our lives we will need necessary medical intervention such as blood tests and vaccinations which we can’t “opt out” of. Again, some people may avoid these essential procedures because of their fears, putting themselves at risk of ill health, while others go ahead with it although feeling very scared and anxious. But there is another option - Ditch the fear!

Our brain has the ability to learn when new things are dangerous. Unfortunately, our brain can sometimes learn that some things are dangerous to us when they are not. The good news is that in addition to being able to learn that something is dangerous, we can also unlearn it, which is where hypnotherapy comes in.

Hypnotherapy first off works to reduce general anxiety levels in a person. When we feel more stressed and anxious, our fears are heightened so this reduction of general anxiety is necessary to help get rid of the phobia for good. Hypnotherapy then addresses the current templates that are stored on how to react to needles, blood or whatever the phobia is. Our brain will always refer to previous patterns of behaviour in any given situation. So for example, if you reacted to a blood test in an anxious way last time you had one, then your brain will encourage you to do the same again. With hypnosis, we create a new template for your brain to refer back to which is much more helpful to you, allowing you to deal with the situation calmly. You’re never going to “love” needles or blood – that isn’t the point; but you will be able to be in control of the situation and feel calm and relaxed.

Find out more information on how hypnotherapy can help you overcome phobias and fears.

Read about how I overcome my phobia of needles, allowing me to give blood.

How Hypnosis Allowed Me to Give Blood

Being able to give blood is such an amazing gift that I can now do thanks to overcoming my fear of needles with hypnotherapy.

Giving blood is such a quick and easy process and saves lives. Despite this fact, in the past I have been unable to even contemplate doing it. Not because I had an illness or travel regularly that prevented me from doing so but because I had a phobia of needles, also known as Trypanophobia. Just the thought of having an injection or giving blood made me break out in a sweat and feel anxious.

As far back as I can remember, I have been scared of needles. I remember standing in line at secondary school waiting to have an injection and the closer I got to the front of the queue the more wound up I became about the whole experience until eventually I had a panic attack. As I got older I thought this would improve but in fact it just got worse. Instead of acting in an adult way when faced with an injection or blood test, I would be reduced to a child-like gibbering wreck. Needle phobias are quite common but that wasn’t really a comfort to me. I resigned myself to the fact that this was how it would be for me, never thinking that my experience with needles could change in some way.

Then at the beginning of 2010, I decided to embark on a career change and started training to be a Clinical Hypnotherapist at The Clifton Practice in Bristol. About three months in to the course, I learnt about the fear response and phobias. It was kind of an enlightenment moment for me as it was at this time I realised why I reacted the way I did and that this could be changed allowing me to act in a more rational, calm, and adult-like way when I’m having an injection or blood test. It was a great relief for me. On one of the training days, I was grouped with two fellow students to practice the very effective fast phobia cure or rewind technique. We worked on each others fears which included a fear of heights, a fear of being sick and my fear of needles and we all went away feeling much calmer about our respective fears.

Six months later I got to test it out! I was due to go in to hospital for an operation on my foot and as with all operations, I was required to go for a pre-op assessment to check my health and during this appointment I had to have a blood sample taken. Instead of resisting, crying, panicking and having to lie down in case I fainted, I just sat there calmly and even watched the nurse draw blood from my arm with no anxiety at all. I was so proud of myself and very impressed with the result. My needle phobia was cured!

Getting rid of this phobia opened up the opportunity for me to give blood, something I could never have done before. So I went online and registered my interest to donate blood.

Upon arriving at the local donation centre, I was greeted by one of the nurses and taken through a quick medical questionnaire, had a quick pin prick test to check if I was anaemic and then hopped on the couch for the donation. I felt that the needle was just a minor inconvenience when compared to saving a life. The actual blood donation part only lasted 5-10 minutes and then I was escorted to the refreshment area where I was given a cup of coffee and some biscuits. I felt extremely chuffed with myself afterwards, knowing that my blood is going to someone in great need of it. I’m looking forward to my next visit in January!

I completed my Hypnotherapy training at the beginning of 2011 and I now help other people combat their fears, among other things, using Hypnosis. There are so many people out there with phobias of spiders, heights, and confined spaces, to name a few, and they no longer have to be limited by them any more. Hypnotherapy helped me overcome my phobia and it can do the same for you.

Find out more on how hypnotherapy can help you overcome your fears and phobias.